


let your troubles roll by

by carolinecrane



Category: Deadliest Catch RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-30
Updated: 2010-09-30
Packaged: 2017-10-12 07:59:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake, Josh, and "After the Catch". Neither of them wants to be there, but at least they have each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let your troubles roll by

Even with two seasons of this thing under his belt, Josh still can't get used to filming in the middle of summer. Before the show, back when he was just Josh and nobody recognized him on the street unless they actually knew him, summer was reserved for hanging out with his friends, working as little as possible, and avoiding Phil's lectures on when he was going to grow up and take some responsibility for his life. So it's weird to have someplace to be for a couple weeks right in the middle of the summer, and weirder still that he has to be someplace that isn't Seattle.

Still, it's easy money. A few weeks hanging out talking about fishing, crashing in hotel rooms they don't have to pay for and drinking with the crew when they're not filming. Not that anybody ever asks him about fishing. Mostly Mike asks him about working with his brother and his father, about the family dynamics and the fights. This season Josh knows all the questions will be about Phil's health and how scared he and his brother were when Phil left the boat, and Josh is already dreading it. It's not Mike's fault; he's just asking the questions the viewers have been asking on the message boards since last season ended, but that doesn't make Josh any more eager to talk about it.

He lights a cigarette and takes a long drag, leaning back against the wall he's been holding up since he got to the set. His brother's around here somewhere, probably talking shop with Murray already, or maybe just checking his stock portfolio on the Blackberry he bought as soon as Opi season ended. All he talks about lately is money, how much he's saved and how he's making his money work for him or whatever. How he's going to buy a house just as soon as he finds the right investment, how long it's going to take him to work his way up to captain where the really good paycheck is.

And it's not that Josh doesn't like money, but it's not all he thinks about. When he thinks about the future these days, mostly it involves worrying about his father and trying to figure out how he's going to make a career out of working with his brother. And okay, he spends a lot of his time thinking about Jake.

He's not some chick, so he doesn't expect anything. Mostly they're just having a good time, but they've spent most of the summer together, hanging out in Jake's apartment or going out with Josh's friends. They've even had dinner at Phil's place a few times, and it took his dad awhile to come around to the idea, but Josh has to admit he's been pretty cool about it. Even his brother hasn't been a complete asshole, though he still claims to be freaked out by the fact that Josh is dating a guy with the same name as him.

Josh laughs at that thought and takes another drag off his cigarette, glancing down the hall as a crew member passes on the way to the set. The truth is that he's avoided thinking about what they're doing for most of the summer, but he hasn't seen Jake in two days and it turns out that's a long time to get all worked up about what happens when the summer ends.

It's stupid; he knows it's stupid, because they started this whole thing during fishing season, and there's no reason to think it's going to end when they go back to Dutch. It's a little trickier while they're fishing, sure, but almost everybody's got someone they miss while they're on the water. So the person Josh misses happens to be on another boat; it's not really all that different, except for the part where he actually gets to see Jake every once in awhile. Which makes them luckier than the guys who are stuck waiting in line for a two minute phone call, even if they have to be careful about who sees them together.

Which is the part that always trips Josh up, because that's not going to change when Jake's running his own boat. It's not going to change as long as they're fishing for a living, whether there are TV cameras around or not. Hell, just the idea that they might be friends has already caused problems for Jake; the guys on the Northwestern razz him all the time about being a traitor, consorting with the enemy or whatever. Most of them don't mean anything by it, but he's seen how it gets to Jake. And he knows how much worse it would be if they knew the truth, so it's hard not to worry that there will come a time when Jake decides that it's not worth the risk to his career.

He's already had two days alone in Seattle to think about it, to remember how much easier his life was before Josh was in it. Back then all he thought about was fishing, about advancing as fast as possible so he could be a captain before he's too old to enjoy it. Exactly like Josh's brother, really, and it's never dawned on him before how much the two of them have in common, but it's a little weird when he stops to think about it.

Josh's gaze strays back down the hall as he lifts his cigarette to his lips, but when he catches sight of the person walking toward him his hand freezes in midair. Jake's grinning at him, that dopey smile that makes him look a lot younger than he is. He's wearing a white t-shirt and his favorite jeans, the ones Josh has peeled off him more times than he can count. The baseball cap's firmly in place and his hands are shoved in his pockets, but when he stops in front of Josh he reaches out and takes the cigarette out of Josh's hand.

"Hey," he says, taking a drag before he passes it back.

"Hey yourself," Josh answers. "I thought you weren't on the schedule until next week."

Jake shrugs and glances over his shoulder, but the hallway's empty now, which means that everybody must be on set. "They called the day after you left. Something about having to move next week to this week because somebody couldn't make it next week. Fucking Bradley probably has to be in court again or something."

Josh laughs at that, picturing Matt having to tell Sig and Edgar that he can't stay for the whole shoot because he got himself in trouble again. Though pretty much wherever Edgar goes, Matt's bound to show up sooner or later, so chances are it was somebody else who screwed up the schedule. "So are you down for the whole week or what?"

"Yeah," Jake answers, reaching out to take the cigarette Josh passes to him. Their fingers brush together and Josh would never admit it, but a little thrill runs down his spine at the contact. It's the first time he's touched Jake in two whole days, though, and he figures that's long enough to miss it a little. "Fine by me, all they're going to want to talk about is the fight with Matt anyway. That's all they ever want to talk about."

They've talked about this before, when Josh first got the call about the summer shooting schedule. Jake spent an entire night brooding about Matt and the fact that the producers were going to make him pretend everything was fine between them, that they were 'like brothers' and their tempers just got out of hand every once in awhile. And he gets it, because he hates talking about Phil's condition as much as Jake hates pretending that there's no bad blood between him and Matt.

"You seen him yet?" Josh asks, and when Jake hands him the cigarette this time he wraps his lips around the filter for one last drag before he drops it on the concrete floor and grinds it out with his heel.

"Man, they're making me fucking _bunk_ with him. Can you believe that?"

Yeah, he can, but he doesn't say so. Josh is pretty sure the producers torture Jake just to ratchet up the tension on the set, then they make him pretend everything's just fine. It's...weird, and he can't figure out what good it does, but they've been doing it for two years now, so there must be a reason. He opens his mouth to tell Jake he can bunk in Josh's room; it means sharing with his brother too, and maybe neither of the Jakes in his life will be crazy about the idea, but at least this Jake won't be in a bad mood all week because of Matt. Except that the reason Jake hates Matt so much is because he's the only one on the Northwestern crew who's figured out _why_ Jake spends so much time with Josh, and every time they butt heads Matt gets a little closer to saying something Jake doesn't want Sig or Edgar to hear.

Jake's theory is that Matt figured it out because he's been sporting a boner for Edgar since junior high, and Josh can't really argue with his logic. It makes sense if he thinks about it, because Jake's got what Matt won't admit he wants, and that makes Matt crazy. It's the only explanation either of them have come up with, anyway, because it's not like Jake's moving up all that fast in the ranks on the Northwestern. That was his plan when he started out, sure, but the show still calls him 'the Greenhorn' every time he's onscreen, and he's still half-share even after another full season.

So bailing on Matt to bunk with a couple guys from another crew would just make things worse, but it might be worth it just to keep Jake from spending the entire week scowling every time someone mentions Matt's name. He's about to put the idea out there, just in case, when someone appears at the end of the hall, and Josh glances up to see one of the P.A.s glancing down at a clipboard and then back up at them. "Jake? They want you on set."

"Here we go," Jake mutters. He glances down the hall at the P.A., then back at Josh, and just for a second his frown gives way to that smile Josh is pretty sure nobody else ever sees. "See you later?"

"Yeah," Josh answers, and it's all he can do not to lean into Jake's personal space. "I'll wait around."

Jake grins again and backs down the hall, holding Josh's gaze for another second before he turns around and follows the P.A. onto the set. And he didn't get a chance to suggest that Jake bail on his own room and share Josh's, but he gets the feeling it won't be such a hard sell after all.

~

He doesn't see Jake again for awhile. Doesn't talk to him, anyway, but he watches Jake's interview from the edge of the set where the cameras won't catch him lurking. He watches the line of Jake's jaw, tensing every time the camera swings in his direction. The worst of it is when they play back that one scene where he's talking about going to work for another boat, about not taking any shit from Matt or anybody else. And it's just talk -- Josh knows that, and so does everybody else in the room -- but that doesn't mean anybody wants that stuff thrown back in their face.

Josh doesn't get a chance to talk to him once Mike's through with the Northwestern crew, because as soon as they're off the set a P.A. grabs him and herds him over to his brother for their introduction. He doesn't even have time to see which direction Jake went before Mike's calling them out, and Josh takes the seat between Murray and his dad and does his best not to look around to see if he can spot Jake just offstage somewhere.

The conversation goes exactly the way he expects it to; Murray answers a bunch of questions about their lousy luck with King Crab last year, and Jake and Josh answer a bunch of questions about their father's absence and how that affected the rest of the crew. It's boring, because they've rehashed it a million times already, but it's part of their contract, so he sits there and he chain smokes and he tunes in just enough to catch the questions Mike directs at him. And okay, his brother has to elbow him once about an hour in, but that's only because Josh lost the thread of the conversation somewhere between Phil's rundown of his current medical status and Murray's bit about why they never did really hit the crab. After that he keeps his head in the game, but it still feels like hours before the producers are finally done with them.

When they finally turn him loose he looks around backstage for Jake, but there's nobody hanging around except the camera crew and a bunch of assistants. The whole Northwestern crew is gone, and Josh knows Jake probably didn't have a choice, but he's still a little disappointed Jake didn't hang around. He fishes a cigarette out of his pack and stops long enough to light it, taking a drag before he pockets his lighter and looks up. Jake's walking past him, nose already buried in his Blackberry and his fingers flying on the keyboard. Josh shakes his head and follows him out of the studio, past the fake walls they set up and then the real ones. He thinks about calling after Jake, making him wait for Josh to catch up. Making him put that stupid thing away for a minute, but then Josh would just have to listen to him run his mouth, and he's heard enough of that for one night already.

He catches the door as it swings shut behind his brother, blinking at the sudden change in light. It's darker than he expected it to be, which means it's later than he thought. "Jesus," he mutters around his cigarette, "how long were we in there?"

"Fucking forever," someone answers, and he looks over to see Jake Anderson leaning against the wall. Josh stops walking, glancing ahead of him to make sure his brother's not watching before he crosses the few feet between him and Jake. "Jesus, I thought they were gonna keep you in there all night."

"Me too," Josh says. "I thought you went back to the hotel."

Jake shakes his head, then nods in the opposite direction. "They're all at the bar already. I got sick of listening to Matt get drunk, so I took a walk."

"I thought he was on the wagon."

Jake snorts a laugh, and Josh can just see his grin in the glow from the streetlight at the edge of the parking lot. "Yeah, that lasted about as long as it took for him to get home from Dutch. I told you, he can't cope without Edgar around to tell him when to wipe his ass."

And there's an image Josh didn't need, but he's not surprised to hear that Matt's drinking again. It's easy to quit when they're out on the water, because they're working too hard to worry about catching a buzz, and when they're not working they're shoveling in enough calories to keep going, or they're passing out in their bunks. Once they get back to their lives everything slows to a crawl, and it's tough to find a rhythm again. It's easier for Josh now that Jake's around, but when Matt goes home he's on his own.

"Aren't they gonna notice how long you've been gone?" Josh asks, lifting his cigarette to his lips and taking a long drag. And yeah, it bugs him a little that he has to worry about what the Hansens and their crew are going to think, but Jake's the one who has to work with them. It's bad enough that they've been in the same town for most of the day and he hasn't even touched Jake; if Sig or Edgar -- or worse, Matt -- sees them together, it'll just make things worse. Still, Jake came looking for him, andJosh can't help enjoying that a little.

Jake shrugs and pushes himself off the wall, stepping into Josh's personal space until Josh can feel Jake's breath on his cheek. "Doubt it. Anyway, who cares? I'm sick of listening to their shit."

Josh knows Jake doesn't really mean it. He likes working for Sig most of the time, likes Edgar too and even Norman. They all treat him like he's part of the family, and Josh is pretty sure that's at least part of the reason Matt hates him so much. He can smell the beer on Jake's breath and he's pretty sure that's the only reason Jake isn't worried about who might catch them together, but there's a lot of crew around and if somebody gets this on film, both their careers are probably over.

As soon as he thinks it the door behind them opens, and Josh clears his throat and takes a step backwards. He looks up in time to watch his father and Murray walk out of the studio, and when Phil looks over and spots them he rolls his eyes. "Where's your brother?" is all he says, but he's looking at Jake and Josh knows exactly what he's thinking. That they're being stupid, taking risks that Phil's already warned him about like a million times, about how many guys in Dutch would just as soon kill them both as ever work with them again if they found out they were sleeping together, and that includes some of the guys on the show. It sucks, but it's true, and Josh knows Phil's just trying to keep him safe. Still, he can't pretend it doesn't hurt when his own father doesn't want to look at him.

"Took off," Josh answers, tossing his cigarette and turning to face his father. "Probably went back to the room to be alone with his phone."

Phil makes another face at the mention of the Blackberry, and it makes Josh feel a little better to know that at least he disapproves of Jake's new toy as much as he disapproves of Josh's boyfriend. Not that he doesn't like Jake; sometimes Josh is pretty sure Phil likes Jake better than he likes either of his sons, but it's pretty clear that the fact that Josh _has_ a boyfriend still bugs him, and that might not ever change.

"Yeah, well, I told the guys we'd meet them at the bar when we were finished," Phil says, glancing at Jake again before he turns his attention back to Josh. "You two coming or what?"

"We'll catch up in a minute," Josh answers, and it's not easy, but he holds Phil's gaze until his father finally gives up and shakes his head. He mumbles something Josh doesn't catch, but the sympathetic glance Murray shoots in his direction lets him know what he missed. Josh waves and Murray nods, patting Phil on the shoulder as they head toward the car the Discovery Channel pays for while they're at these things.

"I should get back anyway," Jake says, letting out a sigh like the idea of an evening of drinking with his crew makes him almost as tired as a record Opi season. "I don't want any of those guys saying anything to your dad."

And Josh wants to laugh, because of all the people they could say something to, Phil, Murray and his brother are the only ones who already know the truth. But he gets what Jake means; he doesn't want Phil lying to protect them, not to the other captains or anybody else. "Yeah, okay," Josh says, hands in his pockets so he won't do something stupid. "I better go find Jake so Phil doesn't have a heart attack wondering what he's doing."

Jake grins at him, all the frustration gone for a few seconds and Josh can't help smiling back. He wishes they were back in Seattle, back in his apartment where he could feel that smile curving against his skin while he peeled all their clothes off. He wishes a lot of things, but Jake's here, and that's better than nothing. "So I'll see you over there," he says, taking a step backwards toward the hotel.

"Yeah, see you," Jake says, smile fading as he watches Josh back away. He glances over his shoulder at the lights of the bar down the street and heaves another heavy sigh. "Man, I can't believe they're making me bunk with fucking Bradley."

Josh laughs and turns around, willing his legs to carry him to the hotel before he does something stupid like grab Jake and kiss him until they can't breathe. That's what he wants to do, what he's wanted since Jake found him in the hall hours ago and stole his smoke. Instead he goes in search of his brother, and he hopes that by the time he finds him and drags him back to the bar, he'll be able to sit in the same room with Jake without everyone around them reading exactly what he's thinking all over his face.

~

Josh doesn't find his brother at the hotel. All he finds is an empty room, which is a total waste, as it turns out, because it means he and Jake could have come back here and had the place to themselves. At least until his brother did show up, and knowing Josh's luck, that would have been at exactly the wrong moment. He lets out a sigh and closes the door behind him, then he heads down the hall to the stairs that will take him back outside.

He's halfway across the lobby when he stops, changing direction abruptly and crossing to the reception desk. "Hi," he says to the clerk behind the counter, a bored-looking girl flipping the pages of a fashion magazine.

"Can I help you?" she says without really looking up, which is just fine with Josh, because the less she remembers about this entire conversation, the better.

"I need a room," Josh says, digging his wallet out of his pocket. "As far away from that TV crew as you can get me."

She does look up at him then, but if she knows who he is she doesn't say anything. Instead she hands him a form to fill out and reaches behind her to pull an envelope out of one of the numbered boxes along the office wall. "How many nights?"

Josh blinks at the question, wondering why he didn't think of it before he decided to do this. A night is one thing, and if the guys are really getting as drunk as Jake said they were, they probably won't even notice if he doesn't go back to his room tonight. But he's pretty sure they can't risk the whole week, no matter how much he wishes they could. "Just tonight," he answers, handing over his credit card and the signed rental agreement.

"Check-out's at 11:00," she says as she hands him an envelope with two key cards and his copy of the receipt. "Enjoy your stay."

He mumbles a thank you that she doesn't acknowledge and slides the envelope into his pocket as he heads toward the door. It's a short walk back to the bar, but by the time he gets there he's already changed his mind three times about mentioning the room to Jake. Sure, Jake would rather spend the night with him than listen to Matt snore, but if anybody sees them together they'll both regret it. He knows what his dad would say if he found out; it's stupid to take such a big risk when they're going to be back in Seattle in a week, where they can have all the time alone they want. Well, mostly he'd just tell Josh he's a fucking idiot and to stop wasting his money, because he doesn't want to think about Josh's sex life if he can help it. And maybe he'd even have a point, but that doesn't change the fact that Josh misses Jake when he's not around. It doesn't change the fact that somewhere along the way, he fell in love, and that means he's going to want Jake around as much as possible, no matter what anyone else thinks.

He hasn't said it to Jake yet. He's been thinking about it a lot, though, especially since Phil had to leave Dutch and go back to Seattle where he'd be close to his doctors. Most of the time he's even sure Jake feels the same way, but it's just one of those things they don't talk about. Like they don't talk about what they're doing or what happens a year from now or ten years from now. Truth is they never get past next season, and that's mostly just when Jake's bitching about Matt and making threats he'd never follow through on about finding another boat to crew. And most of the time Josh doesn't worry about it, but if they're going to take risks like this one, they should probably decide for sure whether or not it's worth it.

The bar noise hits him a second before the smell does, and Josh takes a second to adjust to the smoky haze floating in the room. One he can see he spots his brother sitting at a table with some of the younger guys, all of them laughing at some story one of them's telling -- Brandon from the Lisa Marie, Josh is pretty sure. Jake's there too, fingers tapping absently against the empty bottle in front of him as he watches Brandon holding his hands up to illustrate whatever he's saying. All the captains are huddled around another table, along with Murray and Edgar and the older crew who've earned the right to drink at the captains' table. Josh rolls his eyes at the hierarchy and heads straight for the bar, fishing his wallet out and holding up two fingers when the bartender nods at him.

He's leaning against the bar with his back to the room when he feels someone stop next to him, and he looks up to find Jake grinning at him. He sets his empty on the bar and leans close enough for Josh to hear him over the noise, their shoulders just pressing together. "Took you long enough."

Josh laughs softly as the bartender approaches them, setting two fresh beers in front of him and pulling off the caps. Josh hands him a ten and waves away the change, then slides one of the bottles toward Jake. "Did I miss anything?"

"Nope," Jake says, lifting the beer and taking a long pull before he looks over at Josh again. "Thanks."

"Figured you could use it," Josh answers. He glances over his shoulder at the rest of the room, but nobody's paying any attention to them. And it's not like he expected anyone to be watching, but it still makes reaching into his pocket and pulling out the key card a little easier. He sets it down on the bar and flattens his palm over it, sliding it toward Jake. "This might be a dumb idea, but..." He trails off with a shrug and pulls his hand away, then reaches for his beer.

For a second Jake doesn't say anything, and Josh is sure he's just trying to figure out how to let him down gently. And it's not really fair to ask him to take such a big risk, so he tells himself he won't be disappointed when Jake turns him down. Only Jake's not turning him down; he's not saying anything at all, and when Josh finally ventures another glance Jake's fingers are curling around the key card. Then Jake looks over at him, and Josh's heart skips a beat at the sight of those big blue eyes. "What about your brother?"

"Guess he'll crash in the room the show's paying for," Josh answers, heart pounding hard inside his chest while he waits for Jake to get it. And it takes another second, but then Jake's mouth curves into a familiar smile.

"How fast do you think you can get out of here?" he asks as he slides the key into his own pocket. Josh laughs and glances over his shoulder again, but this time when he looks at his father, Phil's looking right back at him. He holds Josh's gaze for a second before he shakes his head and turns back to the conversation at the table, but Josh still has to push down a surge of guilt before he turns back to Jake.

"I should probably hang around for awhile. Give me an hour."

Jake nods and tips his beer back, swallowing half of it in one long gulp before he sets it down on the counter and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Hurry," he says, shoulder pressing a little harder against Josh's, just for a second. Then he straightens up and heads for the door, not even pausing long enough to say goodnight to the rest of his crew.

For a few seconds Josh considers following him, saying fuck it to his father and the room full of half-drunk fishermen and even the camera crew that's still following them all around like it's a bad habit they can't break. Instead he picks up his beer and heads for the table where his brother's still sitting, dropping into Jake's vacated chair and pretending to listen to the fish stories they'll probably be telling all night. But all he hears is the same word over and over, _hurry_ whispered in a low voice, and already he's calculating just how long he has to sit here before he can finally get Jake alone.

~

It takes Josh half an hour to think of a good enough excuse to follow Jake. No one's paying any attention to him anyway, so they don't notice the half-full pack he slides into his pocket before he announces that he's out of smokes. There's a gas station right down the street, so nobody even really looks up when he says he's going to make a cigarette run. Half of them are already too drunk to know who's talking, and the rest are drunk enough that they won't remember to miss him when he doesn't come back.

He stops by the captains' table on the way to the door, hand on Phil's shoulder to get his attention. "Make sure you don't stay up all night with these idiots," he says when his father looks up at him. "You know what the doctor said."

Phil rolls his eyes, but Josh knows he likes the attention. He likes being reminded that his kids care, even if he never actually takes their advice.

"Listen to this kid," Phil says to Murray. "I'm starting to think he should have been a doctor or something."

"Yeah, well, somebody has to look out for you," Josh says. "You sure as hell don't look out for yourself."

He squeezes Phil's shoulder one last time and walks away before his father thinks to ask where he's going. Or maybe he already knows, and he doesn't want to bring it up in front of the rest of the captains. Even so, Josh picks up his pace as he slips out of the bar and heads down the street to the hotel. When he reaches the lobby he bypasses the elevators and takes the stairs two at a time, past the second floor where everyone from the show is staying. When he reaches the fourth floor he fishes the second key card out of his pocket, glancing at the room number before he pulls the door open and steps into the hall. And it's stupid to be nervous, because he's spent practically every night with Jake this summer, but his pulse races a little anyway when he reaches room 436.

The lock clicks open on the first try, and he lets himself in and shuts the door behind him. It's quiet, no sign of Jake and Josh starts to panic until he hears a sound from what he assumes is the bathroom. A second later the door opens and Jake steps into the room, hair wet and pushed back off his face and a white hotel-issue towel slung low around his hips. When he sees Josh he grins, one hand coming up to push through his hair. "What, you missed me so much you couldn't wait an hour?" he asks, and Josh laughs, but he doesn't try to deny it.

"Yeah," he says, doesn't bother pointing out that he missed Jake for the two days they were on different coasts, let alone for the past half hour, because Jake already knows. Instead he steps forward, hands landing on Jake's waist to rest against the edge of the towel as Jake's face turns up to meet his. "Yeah, I missed you."

"Good," Jake whispers in the same voice he used to say _hurry_ less than an hour ago. His hand lands on the front of Josh's shirt, fist closing around the fabric to drag Josh down for a kiss. Their first in three days, Josh thinks as he parts his lips under Jake's, and it's all he's been thinking about since Jake showed up at the studio this morning. That feels like a hundred years ago, but all the waiting turns out to be worth it, because Jake's tugging at him like he can't get close enough, and Josh knows exactly how he feels.

His hands slide along the edge of the towel until they find the knot at Jake's waist, working at the still-damp fabric until it gives way and slides to the floor. He can feel the heat of Jake's hands through his t-shirt, pressing against his chest until Josh takes the hint and lets Jake push him toward the bed. When his legs hit the mattress he sits down hard, hands braced on the mattress to stop his fall. The sound of Jake's laugh makes him look up, heart skipping a beat at the sight of blue eyes and pale skin.

There's a bead of water sliding down Jake's neck, marking a trail toward the center of his chest. Josh sits up, hands on Jake's hips again to steady him as he leans up to catch it just as it reaches the hollow of Jake's collar bone. His tongue retraces the trail of the water drop, up Jake's neck to the spot just below his ear that makes him arch against Josh and grip his shoulders hard. And it's sort of like being in Dutch, because half the fleet and all the camera crew are hanging around somewhere, but the difference is that they don't have to rush tonight. They don't have to worry about who's going to come looking for them, at least not until the morning, and that means Josh can take his time. He can suck hard on Jake's skin, right where the curve of his shoulder meets his neck, until Jake's gasping and sliding a hand into his hair to pull him up for a hard kiss.

Jake's tugging at his shirt, inching the fabric up his back until it's halfway off. Josh lets go of him long enough to pull it off and toss it on the floor, then he wraps his arms around Jake's waist and pulls him down onto the mattress. And he's not sure how it happens, exactly, but suddenly Jake's flat on his back and grinning up at Josh. Josh grins back at him and plants his knees on either side of Jake's hips, sliding his hands up the center of Jake's chest. "You think Matt will notice when you don't show up tonight?"

Jake shrugs against the mattress, smile fading a little and Josh wishes he hadn't said anything. Then Jake's hand comes up to cover his, threading their fingers together and tugging until Josh leans forward. "Who cares?" is all he says, and Josh is pretty sure he doesn't mean it, but he doesn't argue. Instead he lets Jake pull him into another kiss, settling his weight on top of Jake until Jake's rocking up against him.

Jake's hands are still callused even months after the season's over, rough skin catching at the hairs on the back of Josh's neck and sending a fresh shiver down Josh's spine. He knows from experience that they'll be a lot more rough in the middle of crab fishing season, calluses even bigger and skin chapped from the cold and the constant salt water that gets into their gloves no matter what they do. And he likes the feel of rough skin against his own, but he likes Jake like this too, just a little softer and a little more filled out from eating well for a couple months. He runs his hands down Jake's sides, thumbs digging in a little at his hipbones and making Jake buck up hard against him.

Josh laughs against his mouth and pulls back to look at him, thumbs digging in again just so he can hear Jake growl low in his throat. "Why are you still wearing all these fucking clothes?" Jake says, not bothering to wait for an answer before he reaches for the button on Josh's jeans. And it's a good question, so Josh slides off him long enough to kick off his shoes and then his jeans. He's peeling his socks off when Jake scrambles off the bed, crossing the room to rummage in a bag and Josh notices for the first time that he moved his stuff from Matt's room. He doesn't know if that means Jake's planning to sleep here all week or if he even thought about it, but when he sees what Jake's looking for he's glad one of them came prepared.

"What, I'm that easy?" he asks, raising an eyebrow at the lube Jake drops on the mattress next to him.

"That's what I love about you, man." Jake laughs as he climbs back onto the bed and pushes Josh onto his back, kneeling between his legs and reaching for the lube. And he's not sure if Jake meant 'I love you' or if he's just calling Josh a slut; both, maybe, and he can live with being that easy if Jake feels the same way he does.

"You love me, huh?" he says, grinning up at Jake so he can laugh it off if he wants to. Only Jake's not laughing; he's smiling, but it's soft this time and almost shy, the way Jake smiled at him the first time he kissed Josh.

"Guess I must," he answers, like he's never really thought about it until right this second. And it's not like they've ever talked about it, so Josh wouldn't be surprised if that were true. "I'm risking the whole world finding out about us just to get you alone for the night."

Josh laughs, but it sounds shaky even to him and he knows Jake can hear it. But he doesn't call Josh on it; he just leans in for a hard kiss, tongue pushing past Josh's teeth and one hand sliding into Josh's hair to tilt his head back. Josh's fingers flex hard against Jake's hips, his whole body pressing up for just a little more, because Jake's right _there_ but he's still way too fucking far away. And he doesn't even realize he's murmuring against Jake's mouth until Jake pulls back to look at him, smile sort of lopsided and his eyes darker than usual. "Say that again."

"I love you too, idiot," he says, and when Jake laughs and kisses him again, Josh's mouth curves into a smile against his lips. Jake lifts his hips just enough to slide a hand between them, pushing Josh's legs further apart and Josh sighs into the kiss when two slick fingers slide inside him. He rocks down against Jake's hand, but even that's not enough and he grips Jake's hair and pulls hard enough to make Jake look at him.

"Just fuck me already," he says, voice low and rough like he's been chain smoking all night. Then Jake's fingers are gone, and he pushes himself up on one elbow to reach for the lube. Josh watches as he wraps slick fingers around his dick, bottom lip caught between his teeth while he focuses on not coming too soon. But even that's too long to wait, as it turns out, and before Josh even realizes he's thinking about it he's pushing Jake backwards, straddling his hips and sinking down until Jake's buried deep inside him. He closes his eyes for a second, savoring the familiar stretch before he starts moving. Slow at first, then picking up speed as Jake arches up into him, hand wrapped around his own cock to match Jake's thrusts.

And he hasn't even jerked off in two days, mostly because he doesn't want to hear it from his brother, so way too soon he's tensing and coming in his own grip. Wet heat hits his fingers and Jake's stomach, and the whole time Jake's still moving inside him, hands on Josh's thighs and just _watching_ like Josh is the best thing he's ever seen. Josh laughs at the thought, and Jake grins at him without bothering to ask what the joke is. Then he's pulling Josh forward, mouthing his way along the line of Josh's jaw as he pushes him onto the mattress. His hand presses against Josh's hip until he turns on his side, arching his back to give Jake's mouth access to the side of his neck as Jake slides back inside him.

He's murmuring something Josh can't make out, but it doesn't matter because Josh is pretty sure he knows what Jake's saying. He's already heard everything he needs to, anyway, and when Jake arches hard against him and buries his face in Josh's neck, he reaches down to close his hand around the one resting on his hip. He's not sure how long they stay like that -- a few minutes, maybe, or just a few seconds -- before Jake presses another kiss to his neck and pulls away. Josh rolls onto his back and looks over at him, watching his chest rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm. For a minute he thinks maybe Jake's already asleep, but a second later he opens his eyes and looks at Josh.

"How much did this cost you, anyway?"

"I didn't look," Josh says, and he'd feel kind of stupid about it, but it's worth whatever it cost. "Why, does it matter?"

Jake shakes his head and slides a little closer, fingers pressed against Josh's side like he doesn't want to stop touching. And that's just fine with Josh, because they've already spent way too much of the day not touching, and there are still six days left to the shoot. "I was just wondering how much crab we'd have to catch to pay off a whole week."

"What about Matt?" Josh asks, and he doesn't want to bring it up, but Jake's the one who has to deal with the Northwestern crew.

Jake sighs and presses his face into Josh's shoulder. "I hate that fucking guy," he mumbles against Josh's skin, and Josh doesn't bother trying not to laugh. And he knows they can't spend every night like this, because even if they're careful somebody's going to notice eventually that they both keep disappearing. But they can still keep the room, and if they're lucky they'll get a little more use out of it before the week's up.


End file.
